Bring Sexy Back to the Miami Blogosphere!
Dear Readers,
Ok already! I am fucking sick tired of trying to get in touch with Blogger since I did the dorkiest Darwin award thing in my life -- delete my own three-year old blog. Now, I realize what I did was stupid, but not having a streamlined systems for idiots like myself to undelete those mistakes is even stupider! Holy blessed blog! Even God forgives, right?
Crap! Banks get bailouts and Octomom gets a porn offer? What? All I want is my blog reset, for pete's sake! That COSTS NOTHING and only brings joy to the world!
So, in the hopes that we can find a cure for so-called unforgivable, irreperable errors, I'm launching a viral campaign. If the six degrees law really applies, I'm bound to know someone who will give someone who knows someone at Blogger.com a fantastic blow job.
No worries if you don't know how to blow! I, a master, professionally accredited blower, will personally instruct you on the finer points of blowing -- if only you can get my tongue through the keyhole, ok? I'll even throw in a box of Kleenex!
Will you help me spread the word, my darlings? Wink, wink? With a cherry on top?
Bring Manola Back! Help FREE SEX AND THE BEACH!
You see, I can't possibly start my new blog, SEX AND WHATEVER, until I have resolved this issue. (A blog with a following that is just waiting to be launched on BLOGGER -- you hear that Google? And I might even throw in some of that Open Social stuff, if it's feasible!)
So readers, please, start kissing somebody's influential ass NOW. (Lessons in ass kissing not included but can be outsourced.)
I promise to repay all of you with even more of the kind of funny and moving writing I produced as a total labor of love for the last three years. Plus, this time, I'm going to expand my topics and by expansion, I don't mean penis length enhancers. But in the meantime, I've gotta take care of my baby. I'm gonna fight until the tits come home!
Yours truly,
Manola, Dr. Annie Steelclit, Professor Chancleta, Vicequeenmaria
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